So, I recently adopted. Well… By “recently” I mean a few months ago. And by “adopted” I mean I put dirt in a cup.
I had noticed when it would rain, here in Florida, some dirt would grow moss. It would be vibrant green moss, covering the cracked, tectonic plates of earth. I thought to myself, “I wonder if I could take some dirt, and try to grow it in a cup?” So, I took a piece, put it in a cup that I had cut, and put some water in there. That was when Moira was born.
She started with a pretty average amount of greenery, for the amount of dirt I collected. After a few weeks, she became a field of luscious, green, happiness. Things were going great so I decided to get cocky. I got another piece of the tectonic looking dirt, one that had as little green as possible. The plan was to put a piece of Moira in the cup and see if that would help it grow. Thus, Ned was born.
Moira was a great first child, but Ned came with difficulties. He was a thinner piece of dirt; therefore, he dries out faster than Moira. I felt bad when he and Moira would dry out (even though that is stupid as fuck because they are just pieces of dirt with moss, they are not real children). I learned to just put a shit ton of water in with them. From the rough (not scientific at all) tests I’ve conducted, moss can’t drown. If I put enough water in the cup, I don’t even have to worry about them for a few days.
Don’t tell child services on me, but I dropped Ned in the sink once (with soap) and he is still going strong to this day.
I guess the moral of the whole story is, don’t have children, kidnap dirt because it can’t die.